Don’t keep all your feelings sheltered – express them. Don’t ever let life shut you up.– Dr. Steve Maraboli
Take a moment and ask few questions to yourself. How often do you really express your feelings? Do you know how to deal with your emotions? Do you acknowledge all sorts of emotions that you feel?
Asking some difficult questions to yourself can sometimes change you life for better.
Although expressing your emotions sounds simple – IT IS NOT. You may think this is not something worth worrying about – Well, NEWS – IT IS!
For a lot of us, expressing ourselves is not that simple! It is not something everyone can do naturally. In fact, few of us don’t even realize the lack of it in our lives. Or we live in denial because we don’t know how to deal with our own emotions. Why? Because we have never known or felt it our entire life! Or we have been told it is a “bad” thing to express certain feelings.
In my 29 years of experience I have met a lot of people who think feeling and expressing anger or any negative emotion is a bad thing! I have also seen people who cannot express “love”, which is such a beautiful feeling!
Sounds strange, doesn’t it? Specially if you are someone who can express your feelings easily.
I will give you an example from my own life. Growing up, when I visited my grand ma’s place, I would often hear her consoling my crying cousin “Don’t cry son, boys do not cry” . How did this line make you feel? Although I was very young, this line still bothered me. It raised so many questions-
- Why are boys not allowed to cry?
- What is there about crying that only girls are allowed to do?
- Do boys not feel the pain?
After all what are we? Aren’t we all just Human Beings who have emotions? Is it necessary to emote based on your gender? Last time I checked Human Beings were allowed to express themselves, regardless of their orientation. Then why tell this to a child?
I never understood that. Probably not crying, or in short not expressing your feelings means you are strong! That’s the society norm and that’s what we have grown up hearing.
What we do not realize is that, these things stay with the young mind forever and somewhere conditions it to not express feelings. Which is SAD and concerning!
Imagine there is an empty jar and you are pouring water in it, there is no outlet for the water to flow out. What would happen eventually? The water would over flow from the jar right? This is exactly what happens if you do not express yourself.
Your mind becomes overwhelmed and confused. If you are overwhelmed with different emotions you might not be yourself anymore! You might act differently or hurt people around you. Not expressing your feelings leads to some other major problems in your life, like depression or anxiety.
The only way to not pressurize your mind and heart, is by acknowledging your emotions and dealing with it. We are all humans , feelings and emotions are part of being it. So, start taking charge and allow yourself to feel and express.
This is how you can slowly start doing it:
- It’s Okay! First things first, tell your mind that it is okay to feel any emotion, positive or negative. If you are feeling sad, it is okay to be sad, everyone does, no one can ONLY be happy. It is okay if you want to cry, trust me, you will only be creating and outlet in your jar to let the emotion go! It is okay to feel jealous, happy, love, fear anything!
- Acknowledge: Acknowledge the emotion that you are feeling. If you are hurt, then identify the reason why? and allow yourself to feel the emotion. Then find out how to feel better again. Until you acknowledge anything, you cannot get over it. Don’t be in Denial!
- Share: This is an essential part of the process. Share what you are feeling with someone you think would understand. It could be your parents, you friend, your partner or your sibling anyone. This might make you feel better! When you share your feelings, you allow it to let go, you allow yourself to accept it.
I was blessed to have parents who let us emote what we felt. Of course we learnt it from them. I have seen my father cry when he felt bad about something. Yes that’s right! He cries and he is one hell of a man!!!! I have seen my parents angry when they are. I have seen them sad, happy, in love. Probably that’s the reason, today I can express myself better.
Although I have gone through a fare share of my struggles with coping with my negative feelings, but eventually I learnt to acknowledge and express it the way I want and come out of it. That’s the reason I am writing this blog today. I truly believe that acknowledging and sharing your feelings make you more aware towards others feelings and that’s how you can become empathetic towards others!
So allow yourself, you mind, your heart to feel the emotions! Trust me being able to feel and deal with all your emotions is a dynamic gift for your mind and soul. This might just change the way you look at the world. 🙂 The only way you will allow love to come in is if you give it out.
So remember, IT IS OKAY to feel and express any emotion! Say it with me “It is okay to get hurt, to fall in love, to weep, to laugh loudly, to be heart broken”. Are you with me?