Do you feel useless or worthless sometimes?
Do you feel like no matter what you do, how hard you work, it never turns out good?
What exactly causes these feelings in us? Why do we feel useless?
How exactly do we come to the conclusion that we are not good enough?
How and Why
Let’s break it down, there could be two very obvious reasons you are having these feelings:
- You are comparing yourself with someone, someone “better” !
- Or, someone else is telling you, that you are useless and no matter what you do you can never be successful.
If you notice, in both the cases knowingly or unknowingly we are introducing “someone”. Who exactly is this someone?
- This someone could be the person whom you look up to as your “ideal”. You want to become like them, because you think they are “better” and more successful than you are.
- Or this someone could be a person to whom you have given the authority to judge you and tell you your worth!
I will give you two examples from my own life to explain both the situations and you decide for yourself, what went wrong.
When I compared myself with others.
If you have read my blog “Saturday Art Gallery – Day 1” you would probably already know what I went through last year.
So, I started drawing and sketching last year (after like 5 or 6 years of gap). All was going good! I use to put out my sketches on instagram and I was getting a decent response. Obviously I started following other artists along the way to learn from them and improve my drawings.
Let me tell you, there are such amazing artists out there that your mind will be blown!!
One fine day I woke up only to realize that my drawing sucks!!! I filled my brain with all the negative thoughts possible. I thought I am useless, jobless and talentless. I thought why the hell will anyone like my art when there are so many great artists out there. I am not even close to them.
They are way better than me.
In the end? I deleted my account, with that all my work was also gone!!
What do you think I did wrong here? Why did I feel I was useless?
I compared myself!! I compared myself with other great artists!!
Do you think this comparison was fare? When I look back I feel NO WAY!
I don’t even know what those amazing artists went through to reach there. It could be their lifetime of hard work…. It could be their own struggles. All I saw was their likes and follows….. I did not realize that there is always a behind the scene story.
When I let other people decide my worth
I work for an IT firm. I really love my job to be honest! I like where I am today… but let me tell you a story which wasn’t so pleasant. (there are many)
I wanted to apply for a better role because I believed I had the potential and the qualification for the new opening. I told my supervisor about it in order to take his opinion. (because he was my senior and I assumed he would have my best interest at heart. Silly me! )
I still remember, I explained so passionately that why I feel I should apply for it and I looked at him.
You know what he told me? He laughed! His laugh was full of sarcasm. He told me that I am not good enough for the new post…. That I don’t have the “thing”, the X factor. He demotivated me to a level, where I actually started believing that I will never ever be able to crack that interview.
I sulked for weeks! I took his comments so seriously that I sort of started feeling that I am a useless person and I will probably never grow in my career. I started disliking everything around me…. I became less productive at work, because all the time I would think about the same thing “that I am not good enough”
In the end? I got the job 😉 Yes happy endiing in this one.
Because my husband literally shook me up and said “what the hell are you doing??? Hold your shit together, prepare for interview and just go for it. Don’t let others assumption about you rule your mind. I know you can crack this”
That’s it! That’s all I needed. A little nudge! I studied my ass off and got the job I wanted. (I am feeling so proud of myself even while writing this 😀 )
Who you think is sulking now? 😉
No one decides your worth,
Own your failures, your successes, they are yours. No one can take away the experiences you had.
Fail, learn and try again!
Never ever compare yourself with anyone else. Everyone’s journey is different and it cannot be compared. Everyone have their own share of struggles in life. You just don’t know it yet!
DO NOT let anyone put you down. Surround yourself with positive people. People who can help you grow.
You are not useless you are your unique self – you are priceless! 🙂