The Feeling Of Uselessness

Feelings by A Curious Mind 🙋🏻‍♀️

Do you feel useless or worthless sometimes?

Do you feel like no matter what you do, how hard you work, it never turns out good?

What exactly causes these feelings in us? Why do we feel useless?

How exactly do we come to the conclusion that we are not good enough?

How and Why

Let’s break it down, there could be two very obvious reasons you are having these feelings:

  • You are comparing yourself with someone, someone “better” !
  • Or, someone else is telling you, that you are useless and no matter what you do you can never be successful.

If you notice, in both the cases knowingly or unknowingly we are introducing “someone”. Who exactly is this someone?

  • This someone could be the person whom you look up to as your “ideal”. You want to become like them, because you think they are “better” and more successful than you are.
  • Or this someone could be a person to whom you have given the authority to judge you and tell you your worth!

My Experience

I will give you two examples from my own life to explain both the situations and you decide for yourself, what went wrong.

When I compared myself with others.

If you have read my blog “Saturday Art Gallery – Day 1” you would probably already know what I went through last year.

So, I started drawing and sketching last year (after like 5 or 6 years of gap). All was going good! I use to put out my sketches on instagram and I was getting a decent response. Obviously I started following other artists along the way to learn from them and improve my drawings.

Let me tell you, there are such amazing artists out there that your mind will be blown!!

One fine day I woke up only to realize that my drawing sucks!!! I filled my brain with all the negative thoughts possible. I thought I am useless, jobless and talentless. I thought why the hell will anyone like my art when there are so many great artists out there. I am not even close to them.

They are way better than me.

In the end? I deleted my account, with that all my work was also gone!!

What do you think I did wrong here? Why did I feel I was useless?

Because

I compared myself!! I compared myself with other great artists!!

Do you think this comparison was fare? When I look back I feel NO WAY!

I don’t even know what those amazing artists went through to reach there. It could be their lifetime of hard work…. It could be their own struggles. All I saw was their likes and follows….. I did not realize that there is always a behind the scene story.

When I let other people decide my worth

I work for an IT firm. I really love my job to be honest! I like where I am today… but let me tell you a story which wasn’t so pleasant. (there are many)

I wanted to apply for a better role because I believed I had the potential and the qualification for the new opening. I told my supervisor about it in order to take his opinion. (because he was my senior and I assumed he would have my best interest at heart. Silly me! )

I still remember, I explained so passionately that why I feel I should apply for it and I looked at him.

You know what he told me? He laughed! His laugh was full of sarcasm. He told me that I am not good enough for the new post…. That I don’t have the “thing”, the X factor. He demotivated me to a level, where I actually started believing that I will never ever be able to crack that interview.

I sulked for weeks! I took his comments so seriously that I sort of started feeling that I am a useless person and I will probably never grow in my career. I started disliking everything around me…. I became less productive at work, because all the time I would think about the same thing “that I am not good enough”

In the end? I got the job 😉 Yes happy endiing in this one.

How?

Because my husband literally shook me up and said “what the hell are you doing??? Hold your shit together, prepare for interview and just go for it. Don’t let others assumption about you rule your mind. I know you can crack this”

That’s it! That’s all I needed. A little nudge! I studied my ass off and got the job I wanted. (I am feeling so proud of myself even while writing this 😀 )

Who you think is sulking now? 😉

Conclusion

No one decides your worth,

YOU DO!

Own your failures, your successes, they are yours. No one can take away the experiences you had.

Fail, learn and try again!

Never ever compare yourself with anyone else. Everyone’s journey is different and it cannot be compared. Everyone have their own share of struggles in life. You just don’t know it yet!

DO NOT let anyone put you down. Surround yourself with positive people. People who can help you grow.

You are not useless you are your unique self – you are priceless! 🙂

38 Comments

  3. Anushk@
    Reply

    So…here I tell you…

    Just a few months back…I was at the same position as you… feeling useless…and this feeling kills u from inside…it leaves no shit to make you feel unwanted. Had really tough days….to get of out of this. But, when I realized my self worth…it was the time…when I actually gave myself a back pat…and wore my shoes…headed my head high….n kept going. I don’t even give a shit…what people think of me. And, it really doesn’t matter.

    Heart-stirring post😊💙
    You took me back ..in those days…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. A Curious Mind 🙋🏻‍♀️
      Reply

      Awwww 🥰 Thankyou Anushka!! 💓 I am glad you liked the post!

      Feeling useless literally kills you from inside and if you don’t get it together then you may just destroy things you never thought you would….

      So it is always important to not let anyone tell you that you can do no good… and never ever compare yourself with others…

      Self love always wins, hands down!!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Macrine Jangu
    Reply

    Thank you so much for this piece, sometimes i look at other people and i feel less worthy of myself…im saving this to remind me each time i compare myself to someone

    Liked by 2 people

  5. potatosandwich
    Reply

    Excellent post, really enjoyed reading this. As humans it’s in our nature to look at others, some call it being “aspirations” but there is a thin line where if crossed, if end up disliking your own achievements.
    As you know, I dabble in drawing (closes eyes) and also follow a few artists on Instagram (on a social media break right now). I love their work and wish I could draw like them, but still take pride in my own little artworks! So my mantra has always been never to compete or look too far up, but to look behind me. And realise that compare to some, I am exceptionally fortunate for what I have today. If I can continue just to maintain that, then I am very grateful.
    As for other people, I tell my kids (12,17) never ever let anyone tell you “you can’t do it”. Try with defiance and courage, if you don’t get there, take what you learnt and start again. I’d say your ex manager showed some very poor leadership skills having not encourage you!

    Have a nice day.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A Curious Mind 🙋🏻‍♀️
      Reply

      Absolutely agree! I have learnt these things with my experiences too….It’s great to hear that your kids are getting this knowledge since the beginning , I think it is very important.

      I will give my manager benefit of doubt, he may have his own troubles, probably that’s why you would try to pull someone down… Even when i got the job, I didn’t say a word to him.. Silence and your actions speak louder than words and I truly believe in that!!

      If you are destined for something or if you have done your hard work, no one can take it away from you. Literally no one.

      Thanks again for you lovely comment! I am glad you enjoyed it!! 🙂 ❤️Say Hi to your kids 👋🏼

      Liked by 1 person

  7. rishabh kumar
    Reply

    So true mam, we can’t let other decide what we can or can’t, really inspired with your words. will try to keep that in mind,.. amazed by your explanations,… I noticed you also have your domain without wordpress, really great that is… can’t imagine how many people will get goodness of your contents. Salute
    ❣️🌼❣️🌼❣️🌼❣️🌼❣️🌼❣️🌼❣️🌼❣️🌼❣️🌼❣️🌼❣️🌼❣️🌼❣️🌼❣️🌼❣️🌼❣️

    Liked by 1 person

  11. sarthak2700
    Reply

    Very nicely written. I enjoyed both of your experiences and I could relate to them also.
    I also tend to compare myself with great people sometimes. And I sometimes feel the same way that you did. “I am just a beginner, my work is nowhere near that standard of great people, then why would someone see it?” Then I think about it this way:
    There are things I do for a hobby and things I do to achieve something really great.
    For example, I am learning to play and compose music on keyboard-piano as you probably know. But it is just a hobby. I do it because I really enjoy it and love to do it. And it makes me happy that I can really compose good music with whatever little knowledge that I have. So clearly, comparing myself with great musicians is not fair. Because it is just fun and joy for me, while its a profession for them.
    On the other hand, chess and my profession as an architect are the careers where I want absolute mastery. Here it is fair to compare myself to great chess players and successful architects because I do aim to achieve that level. And yet, this comparison is only for positive purpose, to see where I stand and how much further I need to go. I can know how much time and energy they have invested to reach there and how much I also need to dedicate to reach there. I think comparison is a very good tool if it is seen as an inspiring push.
    So if art is your hobby, you can continue doing it despite of success and achievements. Things like these are pure joy! I hope you start drawing again:)

    About your second experience, I am happy that you finally crushed it and got the job. You learned very well that opinions of others don’t matter at all😉.That’s the great thing!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Cierra Reynosa
    Reply

    Howdy, i read your blog from time to time and i own a similar one and i was just wondering if you get a lot of spam comments? If so how do you stop it, any plugin or anything you can suggest? I get so much lately it’s driving me insane so any help is very much appreciated.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A Curious Mind 🙋🏻‍♀️
      Reply

      Hello Cierra! Thankyou for reading my blogs, hope you enjoy reading them 🙂

      Regarding the spam comments, yes I do get them once in a while, but mostly they are false alarms, so I just go and approve them. I do it manually and do not have any plugins as such. The comments that get automatically qualified as spam will not apper on the post. However if you want to delete some obscene comments for example, you can delete them. there is also an option to review every comment on your post, until you review them, they will not appear on the post, again, this will be a manual effort. I did read an article sometime back to manage the comments and spams: https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/64176467/posts/39692

      Hope this helps!

      Like

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