elcome to Thursday thought blog!
Today’s thought is related to something that taught me a big deal in life.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind– Bernard M. Baruch
We waste half our lives being someone else, fitting in to society norms, behaving as per others idea of perfection, but is it necessarily us? Even if it’s not us, is there a possibility that we become that person eventually?
I have been a victim of “what would people say” for major part of my life. The strange thing is, I thought it was normal. I always wanted to make everyone happy even if that meant hurting my own self.
Always tried to be the perfect version of myself. Being on my toes, always afraid of loosing people I called my “friends”. Keeping my needs aside, it was all about giving and making the other person happy. Being the most perfect person ever!
What exactly is this perfection? Why do we need it?
This perfection is abiding to the rules and norms of society. Before saying or doing anything, always thinking of what would people say? Worrying about others perception more than your happiness.
I remember growing up asking this question to my mom: “Who are these people?”. She would just laugh at the naiveness of the question and ignore it. But I always wondered, why do we care about someone else’s thinking? Time passed and I sort of became the part of this process. This feeling of “what would people say” stayed inside me and affected many of my decisions in life.
How it all changed
Thank god for education and my job, I got to travel across the world which changed my mindset completely. it gave me a chance to break out of my comfort zone.
It allowed me to break free from the boundaries of my own thoughts that was build over the years. I started seeing life with a different perspective- my perspective.
Surprisingly I couldn’t find those “people” whom I was always worried about half my life.
Eventually I realized, may be it is okay to be me. Maybe it is okay to stand up for yourself, even if it means going against the “perfection” created by society. Maybe it is okay to not be afraid all the time of loosing someone because of who you are.
People who matter will be with you no matter what. The ones who left, were never with you any way! 🙂 So why change yourself to fit in to someone else’s idea of perfection? Why not be what you are.
It took a lot of heartbreaks and rough road to realize this. I wish I had slightest idea about it while growing up, I wish I wasn’t afraid of “what would people say”!
Were you also the victim of this thinking?